Thursday, December 15, 2011

So I had a bad day, but I'm alive to tell about it

So I've been on my Christmas break from college for almost a week now. I finished my first semester with straight A's, and one sophomore class knocked out of the way. Who knows how much I've spent on gas just driving back and forth to Winston-Salem, but God really gave a lot a grace to me as I adjusted to driving four days a week on a 12 lane highway, even in the morning traffic when I had an 8 o' clock history class to catch.
Since I finished my finals, I've been back at Hallmark earning some Christmas cash. This past Tuesday was the day I had marked down to do my Christmas shopping. I had the whole day off, and was ready to snatch some deals and find just the right gifts. I haven't done ANY Christmas shopping, and I was ready to twiddle away at my gift list and be in the Christmas mood while I shopped. But that didn't happen. I started my day with a lot of pep and energy. I woke up early, read a little, drank some coffee, and did a little exercise. Yes, I was ready. Well I needed to hit the showers before I went anywhere, so I got cleaned up and was styling my hair. And this is where my day went downhill.
I've been a type 1 diabetic for 3 years now. I've ran into some bumps and tricks along the way, experiencing some hours in the ER, but for the most part, the most dramatic experience I've had was the weekend I was diagnosed with diabetes. However, this episode comes pretty close to that weekend.
So as I'm styling my hair I start to feel woozy. Like I'm having a low blood sugar. No biggie, because I had my meter and a bottle of soda with me just in case it dropped. Well it dropped. Big time. I prick my finger, and switch into panic mode as I saw my meter read my sugar as 20. 20?!? Yes. 20! I've never had it that low before. My panic only worsens when I realize that I'm home alone. I have no one to call for help. My heart was pounding.
It didn't help that my hands were shaking uncontrollably as I was trying to call my dad's cell number. But I dialed it. The phone rang. No answer. I crack open my soda and start chugging. I race downstairs to my bedroom where my purse was to grab my glucagon kit that I'm supposed to use in times of emergency low sugars. I open it, but my hands were shaking so bad I was fumbling and couldn't get it to work right.
By this time I'm seeing spots. My heart is racing, my breathing is heavy, and I'm thinking, this is it. I'm going to pass out. With everything I have in me, I dial 911. The lady on the other line was extremely calm. I could not think straight, much less talk in full sentences. I was able to give her my address. An emergency crew was on the way. I open another soda and chug it down. I'm pretty sure I burped while I was on the phone with the 911 lady. Who knows what else I did. I probably told her the date my guinea pig died when I was a kid. Yeah, I was not in my right mind.
The lady stayed on the line with me. We tried to call my dad's cell again. No answer. We call his office. The secretary answered and I was able to talk to my dad until the emergency crew arrived. They checked on me. By that time my sugar boosted up to 300 (a normal sugar level for me is 120). When I had calmed down, and saw that there was no real emergency anymore, they left. I slumped on my couch, taking deep breathes, and started to sob. Yes, it's true I cry a lot, but never before had I ever been that scared.
I calmed myself down and called my dad to let him know everything was okay. We prayed together over the phone, thanking God for watching over me.
By this time it was 11 a.m. about an hour later I re-checked my sugar. It was 500. I felt terrible. It's been two days since this incident, and I still can't shake my headache. I haven't been able to sleep well either. But at least my sugar is starting to act normal.
Did I get my Christmas shopping done? Not at all. But now I have a sweeter view of life, and of God's keeping of His children. So yeah, I had a bad day, but at least I'm alive to tell about it!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Just some serendipity... (:

Today has been one of those crisp fall days I daydream of. Not a cloud in the sky. The sun is bright, and gives you those tingles when you happen to stand in its open warmth. A day like today would be perfect for a wedding. Ahh yes. Fall, my favorite season.

This morning my sister and I met a group of friends for a 5k walk to support finding a cure for diabetes. I've actually been living with type 1 diabetes since December 5, 2008 (Yes, I remember the exact day...it was quite traumatic!) So we decided to do JDRF's walk to cure diabetes. It was great. We had good laughs, met other people, and got to enjoy a walk on a perfect fall day. (I needed the exercise too, I don't know what it is, but around this time every year my fluff starts to reappear)

Well after the walk, my sister and I visited a florist. It's our mom's birthday on Monday, so we ordered a bouquet to be delivered to where she works. (Shh to any of you who know my mom!) ;) My dad's birthday is today. I'm just doing some blogging until we start our little cook out for him. Can you believe that's all he asked for? Such a simple, easy to please man.

After we had been home a while, I got away in my room to just ready my Bible, journal, and pray. Just to have that precious time with God. Today I read in Romans chapter 12. Wow. Specifically verses 9-21 spoke to my heart. It says:

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil;
hold fast to what is good. Love one another
with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in
showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal,
be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice
in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant
in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the
saints and seek to show hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and
do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice,
weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one
another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the
lowly. Never be conceited. Repay no one evil for
evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in
the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends
on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never
avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of
God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will
repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "If your
enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give
him something to drink; for by so doing you will
heap burning coals on his head." Do not be
overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.


In my Bible, this passage is titled "Marks of the True Christian." I gotta say, I don't live like that. It's a shame really. Most of the time I don't give a second thought to what I am doing. But I should. I need to. I'm commanded to. Being a Christian is no cake walk. It's a battle. A battle between God and Satan, what is good and what is evil. A battle over our souls. I have no doubt in my mind that by God's grace I have been saved. But that does not make Satan give up. He is the joy stealer, and wants to drag us to join his misery. But God is victorious and has not left us without help. His spirit in us guides us, as long as we do not grieve it (take it where it should not go) or quench it (ignore it).

These verses should be at the forefront of my mind every day. I want to make a poster of them... Hmmm... Maybe that will be my next project ;)

Saturday, October 1, 2011

It Doesn't Take a College Education to Live the Good Life

I don't think any high school graduate really knows what to expect when they start the highly anticipated world of...college. To be honest, high school is overrated. Don't get me wrong. I've got some great high school memories. Eating out at Tokyo Express with all my friends, ministering to a third world country, and laughing at my prom date when his fancy car's battery died when we were pulling out of my driveway...are just a few memories that bring a smile to my face.
"I don't want to graduate!" were the very words I spoke to my homeroom teacher at the beginning of my senior year. Yeah. That changed. I went through times of feeling completely suffocated. I wanted out. I wanted to graduate. College looked better and better every morning after I stayed up until 1 am doing homework and woke up at 6 am only to repeat it later...(I remember my parents telling me how late they'd stayed up during their college days. They'd be bugged eyed in their books and sipping cup after cup of coffee. So far this year, I haven't been to bed past 12. *knock on wood*)
College is pretty sweet. High school had its good days, but it was definitely time for me to move on. We all get there; ready to move on to the next big thing in our lives. We start to view our lives as a cage...It gets mundane. Repetitive. We want a new job. We're ready for marriage. We long for kids. We want to travel. Maybe we'll finally start that business we've dreamed of. Why are we always dreaming of something better? We get discontent with where we are. The life we know now isn't good enough, and if we could just have that one thing we'll be happy. I sigh at myself and shake my head because I've been a discontent dreamer. Ungratefulness is poison. The most miserable times in my life were time I was discontent. I've been learning the value of having a grateful heart. Wow! It's pretty amazing. I don't wake up dreading the day ahead. I'm just glad to have life! I can't even tell you the joy I feel. It's ridiculous. I'm not encouraging to live as a happy-go-lucky person. No. I'm talking about genuine gratitude, not an annoying fake front that we'll eventually give up trying to keep up.
Am I grateful for high school? Absolutely. It helped to bring me where I am. I thought it as torture sometimes, but I wouldn't take that part of my life away from me. In fact, I wouldn't change a thing.

"Gratitude changes the way we start the day, spend the day, and look back on the day." ~ Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Some more high school memories...

Graduation night with my sisters!


My prom date


The kids I grew up with...